How Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone Transforms You
Threshold moments in life come when you least expect them. You decide to try something new that is unfamiliar and before you know it you are wondering why you even bothered. The threshold moment comes at that point in time when you must decide whether you will quit or step forward into the unknown. Do you seek the comfort and safety of what you already know and trust or do you challenge yourself to take the next step out of your comfort zone?
Those turning points where you feel the most challenged are usually just before the moment of the greatest reward. At the point where you reach your perceived limits, you test your resilience and have an opportunity to embrace the impetus for growth and transformation.
What is a Threshold Moment?
A threshold moment is that space between the old and the new, the familiar and the unexplored. It’s the moment before you take a leap of faith—before you say yes to an opportunity, before you push past fear, before you step into an experience that has the potential to change you.
Think of the classic hero’s journey in stories: the hero always faces a moment of hesitation before crossing into the unknown. Whether it’s Frodo leaving the Shire, Alice stepping through the looking glass, or a traveler setting foot on an unfamiliar trail, there’s always a pause—a moment of fear, doubt, or resistance—before they commit to the journey ahead. Do you take the next step, freeze, or retreat?
Real Life Threshold Moments
In real life, threshold moments can take many forms:
- Overcoming Fear – The first time you speak in public despite your fear.
- Life Transitions – Starting a new career or making a life-changing decision.
- Pushing Physical Limits – Testing your endurance in a new sport or an outdoor adventure.
- Learning a New Skill – Facing initial struggles and doubts when mastering something new.
Pushing Through Social Anxiety
For me, learning to go out and pursue social situations alone put at the brink of a threshold moment. I wanted to go to Missouri Department of Conservation’s Women’s Spring Fling, but I couldn’t find anyone willing to go with me. I decided to sign up anyway. Pushing through my debilitating social anxiety, my heart raced when I arrived as I found my way to the registration desk, got to my room, and saw my roommate had already been there and put gear in the room. I was going to be sharing a room with a total stranger. I started to relax when I realized that I wasn’t the only one there by myself. At some point over that weekend, I crossed the threshold and began enjoying talking to new people. I realized that the social anxiety that used to terrify me was just that I had been trying to fit in with the wrong people. Here, in this outdoor school I met the people that I fit in with. I met my roommate, and we became lifelong friends. If I hadn’t pushed myself to show up that weekend, I would have never known there were people in the world that I can fit in with. I found a piece of me there I had lost.
What Happens When You Step Through?
Many people turn back when they reach a threshold moment. The fear of failure, discomfort, or the unknown can be enough to stop us in our tracks. But if we choose to move forward, something incredible happens:
- Fear Transforms into Strength – What once felt impossible starts to feel manageable. Each small step builds confidence and resilience for the next time we face the threshold.
- A New Perspective Emerges – Once you’ve crossed a threshold, the world looks different. What was once unfamiliar becomes part of your new normal. You find another lost piece of yourself.
- You Grow Beyond Your Limits – The very act of stepping into the unknown expands what you believe you are capable of. You become someone who does hard things, someone who embraces challenges rather than avoids them. You become a bona fide adventurer.
Learning to Breathe Underwater: A Threshold Moment
When I learned being in your sixties wasn’t an obstacle, I decided to pursue a childhood dream of underwater exploration. The first step made sense, sign up for scuba diving lessons. However, after the first night in the pool, I was ready to quit. It wasn’t my fear of sharks that stopped me this time, it was fear of breathing. I had spent years of yoga training myself to breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. Now I was supposed to breathe through my mouth. I never felt like I could get a full breath. I would panic and come to the surface (the last thing you want to do in scuba diving is panic and dart to the surface).
To make matters worse, when I get stressed, I take cleansing breaths through my nose. Underwater, I would automatically take a breath through my nose and realize I couldn’t breathe and then panic even more. After day one in the pool, I was wondering how I could get out of this three-week commitment gracefully. I had mini-panic attacks thinking about our next lesson. It was going to be our first time descending 14 feet into the deep end of the pool. Petrified, I suited up anyway. I let my instructors know I was apprehensive. They gave me a few tips to try to help calm my nerves.
Going Over the Edge
I remember sitting about three feet underwater trying to take calm breaths through my mouth while dangling my fins over the edge of the deep end. My instructor was waving at me to come out to him and prepare to descend. There were so many things to remember. Don’t forget to clear your ears. Don’t come up until the instructor gives you the sign. Slow descents. Slow ascents. We were going to practice skills, like taking off our masks, on the bottom of the pool. That is the only one I remembered because I was completely trying to figure out a way to get out of going in the deep end.
We began our descent and I took my time going down, clearing my ears every few feet. It became a stall tactic as I tried to calm my panicked breathing. Before I knew it my fins hit the bottom of the pool. My heart raced. My mouth was so dry I couldn’t swallow. Was I supposed to swallow? I couldn’t breathe. No that was just me trying to breathe through my nose again. I can breathe. My instructor came by and motioned me to take slower breaths. I did. Then she asked me to take off my mask and I tried but got a nose full of water. I freaked out. I wanted to ascend. Then she motioned me to calm my breath again. She motioned me to stop, relax, and just swim around.
Crossing The Threshold
I did. I started swimming and forgot about my breathing. I no longer noticed my cotton mouth or whether I needed to swallow or not. I just swam and breathed in and out through my mouth. There was a moment, a threshold moment, where I crossed over from panic and wanting nothing more than to go to the surface, to swimming along the bottom of the pool with relaxed breathing and enjoying the peace and solitude of hearing only my bubbles rise towards the surface.
Before I knew it my instructor signaled it was time to ascend, and I honestly didn’t want to go back up to the surface world. The world where people spoke out loud and had opposing opinions and judgements. Under the water, there is just the sound of bubbles and companions checking in with you. The only conversation is by sign; “are you okay?”, “how much air do you have?”, and “look at that.” It’s simple, it’s quiet, it’s solitude without being alone. It’s on the other side of the threshold.
How to Embrace Your Own Threshold Moments
Once you understand how powerful these threshold moments are, you can start recognizing them in your life and challenging yourself to step across without retreating. Here are a few ways to embrace your own threshold moments:
- Recognize the Moment – Pay attention when you feel resistance, hesitation, or fear. This is a sign you are standing at a threshold.
- Shift Your Mindset – Instead of seeing the unknown as something to fear, view it as an opportunity to grow.
- Take a Small Step – You don’t have to take a giant leap. Sometimes just moving one step closer to the edge makes all the difference.
- Trust the Process – Growth takes time. The discomfort you feel now is temporary, but the transformation will stay with you forever.
- Celebrate the Win – Every time you push through a threshold moment, take a moment to acknowledge your courage and progress.
Threshold moments remind us that transformation happens when we are willing to step beyond the familiar and embrace the unknown. What threshold are you standing at today? Are you ready to step through?