How to Experience Real Gratitude

Gratitude is the new buzz word in mindfulness circles. Not all gratitude is the same. “Be grateful,” they say. Keep a Gratitude journal. You may have been told to list 10 things you are grateful for every morning. While that all sounds nice, your gratitude list:

will not transform your life unless you can connect to it in moments of challenging situations. Gratitude is a state of mind that is continuously cultivated no matter what is going on around you.

A LESSON IN POSTIVE THINKING

One day I woke up thankful that my horse was going to being moving back to my daughter’s farm. I was grateful my daughter lived on some land, her husband was comfortable around tractors and horses, and that she was excited to have my horse move in with her herd. I was happy that we would be able to horse around together and I was excited to be able to share this experience with her.

All I had to do was get my horse on our trailer and make a two and hour drive to her house. Once we got there, she and her husband would help me unload her and get our trailer situated.

I had just finished reading, The Secret. I knew if I thought positive thoughts things would go much smoother and I would be less anxious about loading a horse and driving a trailer by myself. I completed a thorough checklist to make sure the truck and trailer were ready for our trip. My youngest son, who was more comfortable hitching up a trailer than loading a horse, was with me.

After we got the trailer hooked up we took it for a test run. The trailer ties were missing so we went down to the feed store. I was positive. I thought, no this is good, this will give me a chance to get used to pulling a trailer again and make sure I was comfortable before I loaded my horse in. The brake lights weren’t working but my son reset the adapter to get them working again. I remained positive. When we got to the feed store, the gentlemen told me a man had came in and bought the last of the trailer ties. I remained positive.

Just like I read in The Secret, I sent positive energy out into the universe and a helpful thought returned to me. “Look in the bucket in the trailer.” And when I looked there were two trailer ties inside the bucket where my son in law must have put them when he trailered my horse last. I felt very optimistic about our trip and this was just evidence that sending out positive vibes was working.

I remained positive trying to load her but my horse did not want anything to do with entering that trailer. It has been almost two years since she had been in a trailer. My son offered to hold the door on the trailer so the wind did not blow it closed but that was as much as he was comfortable with. So I stood in the trailer at the end of the lead rope trying to motivate her to come in, trying to remain calm and positive.

When treats and luring were not helping, again sending all good vibes for confidence out into the universe, an old game I used to play with my first horse came to mind. “The Squeeze Game.” I had a never played the squeeze game with this much more reactive horse than I was used to but I decided to give it ago. I did remain positive. I tried to envision it going as well as it went with my old mare. If a thought of her flipping out came to mind, I dismissed it quickly. She actually responded very well and with a couples tries entered the trailer and I got her tied up.

As we were on our way, I was feeling gratitude deep down into my core being. The hardest part was over. I just had to remember to brake a little sooner and not make any abrupt moves. I just had to remember I had a horse in the trailer that needed me to drive steady enough so she could stay on her feet. In two and half hours, we would be at her new home.

Feeling positive and grateful, we were good to go as long as we were moving closer and closer to our destination. I relaxed a little and put on a podcast. I reminded myself that this horse had made this trip before and was fine.

A LESSON IN GRATITUDE

About an hour into our trip, I heard and felt a thunk, thunk, thunk. I pulled over to see what was going on with the trailer and we had had a blow out. The tread had completely came off the back left trailer tire and you could see tiny wires poking out.

Cars were whipping by and every time one shook the trailer, my horse began stomping and throwing her head. I couldn’t watch her. In my imagination every time I saw her raise her head, I imagined her rearing up, falling over, and hanging herself. I tried to remain positive. My son said, “It’s a good think you have US Rider, they will change a tire with a loaded trailer.” But I had switched to AAA last year.

AAA was coming out although I had not mentioned the loaded trailer yet. It was going to be an hour and 45 minute wait. Would they refuse to help us with the horse in trailer? What would I do if I had to unload her with all of this traffic going by? We had a hard enough time getting her in the trailer the first time. I wasn’t sure I could load her again under these conditions.

All I could think of was The Secret. I had been positive. I had sent positive vibes out into the universe. I had made myself feel the confidence down into my bones. Every time a big truck went by I could feel the truck shake and the trailer rock from my horse freaking out from the traffic. Please, God, I prayed. Please do not make me have to unload this horse on the side of the highway.

Although things weren’t going as well as my positive thinking had hoped, I must say I was experiencing a gratitude list in the thick of this otherwise grueling experience. I focused on everything I was grateful for in order to keep my mind off my fears to the contrary.

• I might have focused on my fear of unloading her on the freeway, but I was grateful that the tow truck driver agreed to jack up the trailer with her in it.
• I might have focused on her freaking out to the traffic as it went by, but instead was grateful for the times she was standing quiet.
• I might have focused on the fact that the other three tires were dry rotted and the spare was flat but instead was grateful that the tow truck driver drove my son to the tire shop to get two brand new tires put on the rim.
• I might have focused on the fact that thirty miles down the road again we had another blow out but instead I was grateful that that flat happened off the highway in the gas station parking lot.
• I might have focused on the fact that it was too late to find a tire shop open and I was convinced we had two more bad tires and a bad spare but instead I was grateful that my daughter and son-in-law were able to borrow a friend’s trailer to come pick up my horse.
• I might have focused on the fact that I had to wait 2 hours for them to meet us but instead I was grateful that my horse was standing reasonably quiet and I had not had to call a vet out on the side of the highway in a strange town.

So many things could have went much worse that didn’t. And for that I was truly grateful. My daughter and son-in-law came to get my horse and trailer her to her new home. We got permission to leave the trailer in the back of the gas station until Monday and drove home and got some rest.

A LIST OF THANKFULNESS

As I laid in bed that night, I listed over and over in my mind all things I was thankful for. I didn’t ignore the lesson I learned, “Dry rot is real.” But I didn’t dwell on the fact that the event had happened but instead I was thankful for all the people that came to our rescue and for all the things that went right along the way.

GRATITUDE NOW TRANSFORMS YOUR LIFE

Real gratitude is that which you feel in the moment. It keeps you attracting favorable outcomes. It keeps you sending out positive vibes into the universe. It is where heartfelt prayers of thanks come from.

We can’t always keep bad things from happening to us but we always have a choice to be aware of the good happening in them. We always have the choice to find the reasons to be grateful in every moment; the good and the bad moments. The gratefulness you experience in the NOW moments are the REAL gratitude lists that transform your life.

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