Why get out of bed in the morning? Just kidding, you were drug out of bed this morning by your dog, by your spouse or a kid, or by your alarm clock. You’re out of bed asking yourself, Why?
By now you’ve heard the rhetoric, “You have to Find Your Why?” You were told, “Start with Your Why?” So now you’re busy looking for it. Where is my Why? What is my why anyway?
I want to help you zone in on your why. But I’ll be honest, this is the hardest post I’ve written so far. I have been trying to write it for three days and Why? The first reason why is that I think there is so much confusion out there surrounding Why, that’s why.
I am going to split this into two posts:
- What is my Why?
- Why have a Why?
Well, before you say Why bother? Hang in there. When you run into an obstacle on your path, you are going to want to remember your Why. So is that enough of a why until tomorrow?
What is my why anyway?
Your why may be the reason you get out of bed in the morning or it may be the reason you exist. The definition of Why is, according to Merriam’s Dictionary,
the cause, reason, or purpose for which.
For which what? For which you did something or something happened to you or for which you are going to do something in the future or yes, even, for which you exist (but that is a little more than we are going to handle today).
Why did you? Why do you? Why will you? Why?
So now that you are out of bed,
- Why do you want to lose weight?
- Why do you want to earn a six figure income?
- Why do you want to workout?
- Why did you say yes to that high school reunion?
- Why did you say yes to that blind date?
- Why did you tell your kid they can’t have another cookie? Or that they can have one?
- Why?
How do I Find My Why
Your Why is your reason for doing what you do, it is where you start. It is what is most important to you. Many people spend their whole life searching for their why because they have been lead to believe that they were put here on this earth to fulfill some great but little piece of a puzzle that is uniquely for just them. Raise your hand if you have taken at least one quiz that promised to help you find your purpose in life.
So if you don’t find your purpose then the great puzzle of life will have a missing piece. Will it really?
I hope this doesn’t sound sacrilegious but I don’t think that you are created with one purpose that only you are going to be able to fill. Being your kids’ parent duly excepted. I don’t think you are going to finally find your unique gift and reach some epiphany once and for all of your lifetime. Wouldn’t that just make all this searching for ourselves and figuring life out so much easier?
I do however think that you are a unique blend of driving passions and are wired to try to find them. When you find yourself engaged in that which makes your heart skip a beat (figuratively speaking) and you can’t hold back that smile on your face, there my friend, is where the secret to your Why lies.
Is the Why in my Brain?
The majority of people don’t even pause long enough to reflect on why they do anything. The biochemical program in their brain is running on auto-pilot. The brain responds to input without a conscious thought and consequently, they repeat the same responses and keep getting the same results. We’ll talk more about that tomorrow.
So what is my Why?
If you’ve read this far, you most likely want to know what your why is. It isn’t as complicated as many empowerment coaches have made it out to be. Let’s take a look at these moments.
What makes you smile? What makes joy pump through your veins? Where is your sweet spot? You don’t need a quiz to figure out what your why is? All you need to do is to look back at those moments that brought you the greatest joy, the greatest sense of accomplishment, or made time fly by so quick you could not hold on to it tight enough. This is your Why.
The heart of human excellence often begins to beat when you discover a pursuit that absorbs you, frees you, challenges you, or gives you a sense of meaning, joy, or passion.” — Terry Orlick, In Pursuit of Excellence
Look back at the challenges you’ve faced in the past. What pushed you to overcome the obstacle in your path? Simply put, What drives you? That is your Why.
What is my Why Now?
Or so that was your Why? Maybe it still is. However, it doesn’t mean it has to be your Why today or tomorrow? According to Abraham Maslow there are 5 levels of human needs:
- physiological needs (the lowest)
- safety and security
- love and belonging,
- self-esteem
- self actualization (the highest)
Maslow postulates the lower needs must be met before you can move on to the higher needs. Where do you see yourself on this list. Where do your past Why’s fall on this list? Are you ready to move up a level?
Reflecting on the past you will discover what your Why’s were. What drove you? What your reasons, causes, and purposes were to do what you did.
Now, take a few minutes to think about what you want your Why to be now, in the next year or five years. What gets your heart pumping, brings a smile to your face, and gets you really super excited to get out of bed tomorrow morning?
This is your NOW WHY.