This point between the winter solstice and the spring equinox, is the most solemn time of the year. Although the days are getting longer, they are still not longer than the nights. It is still dark before dinner and getting up before the sun in the morning, doesn’t mean you got up early. The good news is that each day that passes brings us closer to spring. That day in the middle of March when the days over take the night.
I look out the window and can hardly believe how still the days are. Life is pulled back, waiting for spring. If spring brings new life, what does this time of year bring? Rest? Renewal? For me, it brings reflection.
As I reflect on the last six months, that wonderful time between the summer and the winter solstices, I see much growth and revelation. I spent the last six months of my life, detaching myself from bitter roots. Shedding toxic people and being honest about relationships that I masqueraded as something they were not. This journey wasn’t about them, it is about me. It is a difficult journey but one that has restored much joy into my life.
This journey is about the joy of being where you fit. It’s about finding your place and your people. It actually started in the spring of 2015, when I went to a women’s retreat, the MDC’s Spring Fling at Doniphan Lake. I spent the weekend learning to fish, canoe, and cook outdoors. We heard amazing story tellers around the campfire where we gathered to reflect on our day’s events. I laid awake at night telling my room-mate what I learned and listening to her share her day’s adventures and we quickly became friends.
At one of the group gatherings in the big hall, I recall looking around at this group of women. They were dressed in blue jeans, t-shirts, jean jackets, and ball caps; devoid of make up and expensive jewelry or up-do’s. I thought, ‘This is were I fit, these are my people.’ For years, I struggled with social anxiety, just the thought of going to a party or social event, made my heart race and my stomach turn. Even going to family events, got my palms sweaty and nerves rattled, it didn’t matter if it was a traditional event like Thanksgiving dinner or my own birthday dinner. That weekend, at the Lake Doniphan retreat center, I had ventured out alone to spend the weekend with total strangers. At first I was a little anxious, but soon I felt right at home. They never made me feel awkward or out-of-place, and I made new friends, my people-type friends. 
There is something to be said about finding your like-minded people. I don’t know how often this happens for you or for others, but for me it has been a rare gift. As I look back, I see those few special friends I have had over my life-time that were my people-type. I spent most of my life trying to fit where I didn’t belong, where I felt out-of-place, betrayed, uninvited, trying to make it work. It doesn’t work. When you find your sweet spot, you find the place where you fit and the people who get you, and something else amazing happens, you find yourself.