Do you find yourself getting sucked into the negative narrative of your life or someone else’s? When I found out I was the one writing my own story, things began to shift.
You are the Author
Accepting that you are the author of your life, not anyone else is the first shift. You must be your own advocate because no one else can or will care more about your life than you. And no one else can or will be with you every day, every hour of your life. But you will be there day in and day out through every single moment.
You Choose the Meanings
You are the only one that lives in your head. And most of your living is done in that tiny space between your ears. At first you make observations about what is happening around you, and then you attach meaning to those observations. These stories that you tell yourself are more important than the stories you think other people are thinking or telling about you.
Change the Narrative
You can’t change the stories other people hold in their heads about you or your life. Stop trying. The greatest thing you can do to improve your life is change the negative narrative in your head. This one thing will improve your happiness and your overall well-being more than anything else.
Validate Your Feelings Privately
Your stories are important. Some of them will be better than others. You don’t have to ignore the bad stuff and hide them in the shadows. This thing really did happen to you. You really did have feelings about it. Validate your feelings.
However, too many people are stuck in the shadows. They air their negative narratives and shadow work on social media and then seek out validation from the masses. Most healers would advise that you validate your feelings privately, such as in a journal, or with a trusted friend, coach, or therapist. This helps you sort through your feelings and determine the best way forward for the type of story you want to tell.
Shadow Work
When you are doing shadow work, the most important thing is to observe your negative feelings and not relive them. This takes a little practice. You must learn not to react in the moment; to stop, think, and witness. Evaluating can come later when you are more prepared to deal with them. Journaling is a great way to honestly work through feelings until you are ready to respond, maybe to confront a person who hurt you or to choose not to.
You are the Champion
Be the champion of your own story. When you learn to rescript your stories into your own hero’s journey, you learn to create an arc of change from reactive to proactive. In every story, especially after shadow work, there is a turning point. Find an interpretation that empowers you and others.
It is never too late to rewrite old stories. Too often we are repeating stories that defeat us. We hear stories about us that devalue us. But we don’t have to live out those stories. If a story is not working for you, change it.
Tell Empowering Stories
You may not be a writer, but you are a storyteller, we all are. You are the storyteller of your own life. Editing is allowed. This is your story and you can tell it in a way that lifts you up and empowers you to live life well.