There are situations that make it difficult to really express and be ourselves. Some we can change and some we must be willing to let go of.
I burst into the room eager to share my new insight and was told to “SHUT UP, we can’t hear the tv.” Squashed. Television was more important than what I had to say.
There are people who make you the target of their joke. Maybe they think they are endearing but being teased or mocked is not a healthy environment.
Do you go to a bar to listen to loud music or prefer to talk with your friends in a quieter environment? Do you enjoy being outdoors or inside?
I took a friend hiking and the whole time they were concerned with the end of the hike more than the journey. I hike to be in the woods not to be at the end because then it’s over.
I may need to find a new hiking companion. I may need to find someone willing to shut off the tv and have insightful dialogue.
Where is it that you feel most alive, energetic, and free to be yourself?
Take notice of the people and places and activities that bring you pure joy, where you are upright and smiling from the inside out. Take notice of the people and places and activities that squash you, where you feel defeated, shutdown, on guard, or withdrawn into yourself.
I was the target of a friend’s jokes for many years and one day, I told him how terrible it made me feel. After that, he quite teasing and mocking me and we became very close.
Sometimes all it takes is a honest conversation. When each party feels listened to and validated it can restore a healthy relationship.
How do you feel when you are feeling authentically yourself and feel free to express your true self? Are you sitting up, breathing easily, light, and joyful?
Become aware of what it feels like when you are free to be your genuine self.
Feeling like you can’t be yourself can feel heavy; your shoulders may slump, your heart may race, and you may feel like running and hiding.
Take a cleansing breath and take a moment to recognize how you are feeling. Take note of the people and places and activities and how they make you feel.
Get to know the people and places and activities where you feel free to be yourself versus those that make you feel squashed and shut down.
If honest, thoughtful conversations don’t change that feeling, then it may be time for setting some boundaries.
Spend more of your time with people and places and doing activities that let you be you. Creating more time for you to feel energized and uplifted.
Be where you can be you!